Alphabet & Phonics
How to teach the alphabet at home (ages 3 to 5)
Published · 8 minute read
Singing the alphabet is not the same as knowing it. Here is what practitioners do at home with three to five year olds: sounds before names, a letter order that is not A to Z, short daily sessions, and b and d.
Your three year old can sing the alphabet song from beginning to end and still not know that sun starts with s. That is normal. The song is a memorised tune, not reading. This guide covers four things early years practitioners tend to concentrate on between ages three and five: teaching the sound before the name, which order to teach letters in (it is not A to Z), how long a session should run before it stops being useful, and what to do when b and d keep swapping places.
Teach the sound first, the name later
Every letter has a name and a sound. The name of s is ess. The sound is sss. For reading, the sound is the one that does the work, because sun is sss-u-n. A child who knows only the names has an extra step to make before they can blend, and in practice that tends to slow them down.
Say the sound cleanly, without adding an uh on the end. It is mmm, not muh. Sss, not suh. Some sounds, like t, d, g and b, cannot be stretched, so keep them short and clipped instead. This matters more than it sounds: cuh-a-tuh does not turn into cat however fast you say it, but c-a-t nearly does.
Names can come later. Most settings introduce them once a child has a decent bank of sounds secure, often somewhere around four or five, though there is no fixed point and no need for a separate campaign. Children pick names up anyway, from alphabet songs, fridge magnets and the letters in their own name. If your child already knows the names, no harm has been done. Just add the sound alongside: that one is called bee, and it says b.
What order to teach letters in
A to Z is rarely the order used for teaching, for two reasons. It puts b and d almost next to each other, and that is a pair children very commonly confuse. And with a, b, c, d you cannot build a single word, so there is nothing to show for the first week of effort.
The phonics schemes used in UK schools generally start somewhere else, and a very common opening set is s, a, t, p. Four sounds, and your child can already read and build at, sat, pat and tap. Earning a real word quickly is the whole point. Here is one common sequence, in groups of four.
| Group | Letters | Words your child can read straight away |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | s a t p | at, sat, pat, tap, taps |
| 2 | i n m d | in, it, tin, man, dip, mad |
| 3 | g o c k | got, dog, cot, can, kit |
| 4 | ck e u r | duck, red, run, neck, rock |
| 5 | h b f l | hat, bin, fun, lip, hug |
| 6 | j v w y z, qu, x | jam, van, wet, yes, zip, quiz, fox |
Two principles matter more than the exact list. Keep look-alike letters apart in time, which is why d sits in group two and b does not appear until group five. And teach a vowel early, because without one there are no words. As a rough pace, many settings allow about a week per group at four or five, and two weeks or more at three, but children vary widely and it is a pace to adjust rather than a schedule to keep. Given the choice, review old sounds rather than add new ones quickly.
Twelve sounds a child knows well will build real words. Twenty-six letter names, on their own, will not.
How long a session should be
At three, three to five minutes. At four and five, five to ten. Short and often is the pattern most settings use, rather than one longer session at the weekend, because little and often gives many more chances to come back to a sound. Stop while your child still wants more, rather than when they have had enough.
A five minute session has room for about six things. This is what one looks like.
- Show the letter and say its sound. Sss. Now you say it.
- Find it. Put out three letters they already know plus the new one, and ask them to point to the new one.
- Write it once. A finger in the air, or a pencil on one line of a tracing sheet. Have them say the sound while their hand moves.
- Read two words with it, pointing under each letter as you say each sound, then running your finger under the whole word and saying it at normal speed.
- Spot it somewhere real. A cereal box, a book cover, a sign on the way to nursery.
- Stop, even if it is going well. Especially if it is going well.
If your child wriggles away, goes floppy, or starts giving silly answers, the session is over. That is usually tiredness rather than defiance. Say that you will do it again tomorrow, and mean it. Very little is lost by stopping early, and pushing on until letters feel like a chore is the thing most likely to cost you tomorrow's session.
If you would rather not draw the letters yourself, our alphabet and phonics packs are printable PDFs, supplied in A4 and US Letter.
When b and d get mixed up
This is one of the most common questions parents ask, and at this age it is expected. Reversals of this kind are commonly seen well into the early school years, and teachers generally treat them as part of learning to write rather than a warning sign. On its own, in a three to five year old, mixing up b and d is not usually a cause for concern. The usual explanation is straightforward: the two letters are the same shape facing opposite ways, and until now your child has been learning the opposite lesson, that a cup is still a cup whichever way you turn it.
What helps is mostly spacing and consistency rather than extra drilling.
- Teach them weeks apart, as in the order above. Introduce the second one only when the first is solid.
- Use one cue, not three. Pick a single trick and stay with it for months. Swapping between cues tends to add to the muddle rather than clear it.
- Many teachers prefer a formation cue, because it ties the letter to what the hand actually does. For b, the line comes down first, then the ball goes forward, like a bat and then a ball. For d, the round shape comes first, the same curve as in a, and then the line goes up and down.
- Have your child say the sound out loud while writing the letter. Pairing the movement with the sound is standard practice in most phonics schemes.
- Keep both letters off the same page while it is shaky. Mixed b and d worksheets suit the stage after it is secure, rather than the stage where it is still being sorted out.
In the moment, correct it in under ten seconds and move on. Rather than no, that is a d, try: that one is d, like dog. Which way does the ball go on b? Then go straight back to a sound they know well, so the session ends on something they can do. Long corrections tend to turn one wobbly letter into a bad feeling about the whole activity.
What to do when it is not working
If your child can say s-a-t but cannot tell you the word, the sticking point is usually blending rather than the letters. Stretch the word with your own voice instead of chopping it: ssssaaaat, what is that? Once they can hear whole words in your stretched version, they generally start doing it with their own. This can take several weeks, and for many children it seems to arrive all at once rather than gradually.
Forgetting sounds between sessions is normal, not a step backwards. Start every session with three old letters before the new one. If a particular sound has not stuck after about three weeks of regular practice, leave it out and bring it back in a month. Little is gained by grinding at one letter.
A change of material is often worth more than more of the same. If a sound will not settle on paper, try it in chalk outside, in flour on a tray, or built from playdough. If your child has stopped wanting to sit down at all, drop the paper entirely for a fortnight and keep the sounds going out loud: I spy with a sound rather than a letter name, silly rhymes at bath time, spotting the first sound of everything in the shopping bag.
This is general information rather than medical advice, and children vary widely. But if you are already wondering, these are the details a teacher or your child's doctor will want to hear.
- Nearing six, with regular practice behind them, and still cannot hear the first sound in a spoken word.
- Recognises only a handful of letters by sound at that age, and the number is not creeping up.
- Reading or spelling was difficult for a parent, sibling or other close relative.
- Speech is still hard for people outside the family to understand.
- Avoids books, print and letters consistently, not only on tired days.
None of these on its own means anything is wrong, and they are worth mentioning at the next appointment rather than watching for another year. Asking early simply means that if any extra help is useful, it can start sooner. It is a conversation, not a diagnosis.
